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Full-circle
I’ve taken some time. I’ve thought. The thoughts have gone full-circle, and I am back where I
started..but with new insight.
I have spent a great deal of time mulling over all of the shit I’ve experienced in my life;
bluntly put. The severe social phobias. The anxiety. The anorexia. The self-mutilation. The fact
that I was raped repeatedly as a child. My father’s emotional and physical abuse, and my
mother's inability to do anything about it. Yes indeed…
And I decided that I refuse to end up the way they think I will. It would probably be easier;
to remain in this hole that I’ve made, constantly burying myself deeper. But I don’t want that.
It’s a fucking waste. And I want to live.
And so. I’m starting over.
It’s going to be the hardest thing I’ve ever done.
But I’ll do it.
© Alanna, 5 March 2006
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